Route 66 Chronicles - Part 3, The Trip Continues....

Part 3 – The Trip Continues….....

We left off last time parked in a fairly chic RV "resort" in Santa Fe surrounded by large expensive rock star motorhomes....

We got up the next day for birthday breakfast in Santa Fe's quaint little village. I ordered eggs benedict which usually gives you 2 muffins and 2 eggs....I got 2 muffins and 1 egg.. ..like a missing headlight.... We were told the other egg got "lost in the kitchen"... Go figure! On the way back from the 1 egg breakfast to pick up the van I walked the dog ...who simply will not poop in cold climates!! In any case my coaxing took us to a city office building where we found some rare grass. ahhhh...familiar turf !!

We walked and sniffed and walked and sniffed for about 10 minutes....to no avail.... so we jumped back in the RV where I discovered some other big ass dog had done his duty in the grass and my shoe was literally covered in shit! Of course it was my RIGHT shoe...so I was forced to drive the RV in my socks. As you might all suspect, the shoes give me a bit more height and a longer leg.....so now w/o my right shoe my driving foot was a lot further from the gas pedal on this truck... I was forced into the ballerina position for about 50 miles while Kris' daughter cleaned the god awful mess of poop from my shoe! We dropped her off at ABQ airport where I am sure she was relieved to be out of the RV !!! and....on her way back to Mpls!!

Ok.. so ....on this great American RV adventure we HAVE been introduced to a different form of culture.... and... have actually learned a few new vocabulary words along the way:

DUMP, DUMPING STATION, PARK AND DUMP, BASIC AND "FULL HOOK-UPS"....hmmm....right here in the RV park. Although we paid extra for a full "hookup", neither one of us has gotten one!!

We also learned about BLACK WATER and GRAY WATER... and today we took our first dump at a dumping station in Grants, NM. Just imagine what that means..... getting the crap out of the RV ! eeeeoooowww...

We left Albuquerque yesterday and were headed toward a lesser known canyon just inside the AZ border. After 50 white-knuckle minutes in a westward direction Sunday night with cross winds and wind gusts up to 25mph .... and semi's crowding the roads after the holiday weekend, we were pushed and swayed all the way to Grants, NM. That was a hard and freightening drive...so we got off on Route 66 in Grants and headed toward town to check it out! Nothing, nothing, nothing going on. It was 9pm and we didn't even find a bar. That was my fault, I just did not try hard enough!! I'm sure there WAS one! We knew there were 3 RV parks so we pulled into the first one and had a weird sensation about it; we left for another one and later discovered that someone had been murdered in the first RV Park last year!!!

Today was uneventful in terms of crisis and weidos - but spectacular in terms of vistas and ancient rock formations. We spent the entire day on and off Route 66 going BACK toward Albuquerque. After last night's competition for road with all those semis...the wind gusts and almost losing control of the vehicle....and the prospect of more danger ahead in the mountains....we decided to slow it down a bit. We saw some fabulous things in NM off the main highways... Tomorrow we will be seeing an ancient city in NM call Sky City - purported to have been inhabited continuously for the last 10,000 years. This is on a reservation and has limited access. It looks like a really interesting self-sustaining ancient city in the high desert..... I never heard of it and had no idea the USA was inhabited by anything 10,000 years ago!

We are now camping at a big casino RV park on Route 66. I don't know what town this is...... Tomorrow we will do the ancient city and then go back to Route 66 and take the rig around the official DEAD MAN'S CURVE - on Route 66 back to Albuquerque... Yes, that's the real dead man's curve. We already checked...the vehicle will be able to make the TURN!!

Ok...it is off to the casino !!

ta ta

Route 66 Chronicles - Part 2, The Trip Begins....

The trip log in the form of Route 66 Chronicles begins now.

Well, the trip has been full of adventure so far. I picked up the RV and spent about 3 hrs w/ the owner learning to drive it and how to use all the features. Then went to the airport to pick up the MN friends arriving at midnight. I got them and we were finally on our way to the Grand Canyon.

Only a few minutes into our trip ... while still in Albuquerque we went under an overpass and someone dropped a rock that went thru the windshield. I heard this loud thud and suddenly was covered in glass shards...face, head, clothes, seat. The impact was so intense it sprayed glass shards 7' into the cabin. When I realized we had a hole in the window - slightly to the left of the R-view mirror, I pulled over and immediately called 911. We then called the RV owner and he came out to assess the damage and figure out what to do. This was now about 2am local time. The owner wanted to clean up the RV at his house so we took it there where they vacuumed out all the glass shards.

We finally arrived at a casino at 4am where we parked, did our slide outs and went to sleep. No repairs possible on Thanksgiving so we ate Turkey and gambled at the Route 66 Casino. Lost $.

On Friday we got the windshield replaced. We decided not to go to the Grand Canyon - by this time it was too far away and we lost a lot of time. So we went to Dunkin Donuts to regroup. On the way out of the Black Friday (day after Thanksgiving) crowds near the Dunkin Donuts, I tried to escape from the crowded parking lots - as I was dragging a 29' load with me.... and proceeded to lop off the shower vent on the roof of the RV by going under a low hanging tree branch. Oh dear. I got on the roof of the RV and decided to just strap it down for now. So I taped it up w/ lots of duct tape and we decided to head north to Taos - where we opted to give up on parking lot camping and finally hit a real RV park - to get cable TV, electricity (not on the generator, etc).

We found one 2 miles from downtown Taos that looked like it should have been on old Route 66. Quite "interesting". After tripping over a dog the size of a small horse we went into a smoke infested "office" filled with remnants of 1970's VHS tapes, and ugly crap everywhere. Sitting on an ugly-ass chair - a look-alike to Frasier's dad's mealy old chair - was a weather worn cowboy with a handlebar mustache watching tv with dog #2. Being new to all of this we had a few questions:
1. Can you show us how to connect? "Nope, got arthritis and it's too cold out there fer me. See?"  
2. What's to do in town? "Nothin'. Streets roll up at 5pm. Ain't nuthin' goin on here dollface".
3. This is Taos, there's nothing to do? "Nope. Lived here 30 yrs and ain't nothin' happenin' here."
4. The book says you have shuttles and taxis to town. "Nope. Book's wrong. Dead wrong. No taxis here. Bus stop is out front. Last bus was at 6pm. You ain't goin' anywhere tonite sweetheart."
5. Ok, so there is no way to get anywere here in town other than to walk? "That's correct."
6. I don't believe it. "Well, help yourself to the phone book here and I'll tell ya what, I'll do even better - use my phone and call up rental cars or anything you like." (I used his princess phone ..an ACTUAL PRINCESS PHONE! My call to Enterprise Rentals produced a recording .."sorry, closed at 5pm; will be back Monday. Call Monday"...and this was Friday night. The limo service that I called from the redneck phonebook was "out" and would call back...maybe. Never called.)
7. So now what? "Well, you can come in here and watch movies with me. That would be fun, wouldn't it?"
8. I'll get back to you on that.

So I went back to the RV and had a chat with the girls about the timewarp we landed in here. We decided that maybe a nice hotel would have a shuttle so we called a hotel and they confirmed that the town has no taxi or shuttle services. Hmmmm.... Ok, now it's time for some liquor. So I take the 20 yr old w/ me to "experience" the local "charm" at the RV office.

We go back and ask where we can get some drinks. "Well the Sagebrush Inn is real nice and you can go there".
1. Where is that? "6 blocks down the road."
2. How will we get there? "Walk! Ain't no other way I know to get there."
3....It's too cold and too far...  "Yup"
4. Where can we can some alcohol?  "Well hell, why didn't you say that earlier? There's likker at that there Shell station right next door. Or, if you like you can go 3 doors the other direction to the place that has a lit-up-sign-with-nothin'-on-it and that'll be the likker store. By the way, you better take that water hose off that you just put on. It's gonna freeze tonight and if you don't your gonna break all my pipes and the pipes in your rig. I'll be out of water for a week so you need to take that water hose off, drain it and shut off my faucet. (gads)"

So now we go to the likker store. I have Coco Chic wrapped in a ski jacket and blanket and they said "let's see the baby".... Oh. It's a dog! I don't think they ever saw a "Boca dog" who comes with her own wardrobe.  Damn, it's cold for her too!  We bought 2 bottles and from the quiet stares, I'm sure this is the first time they saw doggy attire...

Whew. We drank some wine, watched a movie in the RV and had a good laugh about being on "the other side of the tracks" in Taos! Oh dear are we BECOMING the Griswolds?? Sleeping at the casino and in the Wal-Mart employee parking lot and now... Redneck heaven. Gawd help us!

It snowed during the night in Taos. It was a stunning snowshower; the flakes were 2" droplets and fell like big soft feathers. I've lived a whole lifetime around snow and never saw flakes that looked like snowballs. The 3 of us from MN looked out and were in awe.... Almost a freak show of snowballs falling from the sky. It was incredible.

The next morning in downtown Taos - where the "real" people go - was spectacular. We got our espressos, our croissants and other familiar necessities in this oh so cute artist enclave on the mountain. The experience from the night before was such a juxtaposition from the Taos we came to see.... We ended up leaving Taos mid-afternoon because more snow was expected and we did not want to be stuck on the mountain w/ that crazy old fart RV mountain man and his junkyard dogs one more night.

We went to Santa Fe and had a wonderful massage and this fabulous little spot. Whew. Back in civilization. Although I will say after night #1 in a casino parking lot and night #2 in a Wal-Mart employee lot, and night #3 in redneck heaven we are feeling a bit Griswold. We are in night #4 and staying in a really nice RV park in Santa Fe. There are several rock star buses here. Civilization again!

The RV is nice and easy to drive. Tomorrow (Sunday) we will drop off the 20 yr old at the airport and Kris and I will find another set of adventures. We are having fun but certainly not what we expected!! It has been a lot of laughs, foibles and bizarre encounters doing this RV thing.

ta ta for now....

Route 66 Chronicles - Part 1, Background

Hello all,

Background:
For those of you not following my life in minute detail, let me set the stage.

Last year I decided to celebrate the big "six ooh" by doing something completely out of character - or at least outside the character I'd worked so hard to build these last 25 years - and took a trip somewhere I've never been, doing something I've never tried before! After all, it WAS ..."MY birthday" and as it was a big one. I figured it was t-i-m-e (and long overdue) to get back some of the vigor of my youth and my natural sense of adventure that I had stuffed away in deference to climbing the corporate ladder.

So I called my long time girlfriend from MN - who is a dormant party animal as well - and we both decided to go "on the road" for a "great outdoors adventure" along the remnants of Route 66! What fun this would be! We had not been on a trip together since…. maybe 1980….??

It was November, the day before Thanksgiving. We would spend 10 days rolling around the area and hoping to finally see the Grand Canyon….in a 29 foot RV!

Our starting point was Albuquerque. I flew in from Florida. She flew in from MN - with her brave college-age daughter who had the poor luck to be reliving the youthful exploits of a couple of "grandmas" traveling in an RV with a non-winterized, fussy, spoiled Florida toy poodle named Coco Chic....

While not matronly and certainly not "old" in our minds, we set out on this great adventure to just let the spirit move us.... After all, we lived through the 60's and of course being former flower children, 10 days hanging out on Route 66 seemed like it could be fun!

So let me set the stage more clearly so you can visualize the novelty of the situation:

1. A rented 29' RV being driven by 2 women who NEVER drove anything bigger than a station wagon or SUV, and who regularly bump into curbs and other minor obstacles in compact cars…not being so adept at driving…and being short so the view out the window has always had some “limitations”… or so that’s the excuse we employ…. The rental guy convinced us it is just like driving a car. Yeah…right..

2. Both of us 60-ish women are vertically challenged. And we talk when we drive.

3. A spoiled, manicured Florida toy poodle accompanied us and would not pee anywhere unless it was manicured grass and the temperature was above 70.  This became a constant issue and challenge throughout the 10 day trip since the natural terraine is rocks, gravel and dirt. We often set out to "find a lawn" and found ourselves stalking neighborhoods and commercial buildings along the way just to accommodate our (ok ..my) pet!  Insurance agencies seemed the best bet for pooping stations! They always had the nicest grass in the middle of desert and desolation! 

4. The trip was in late NOVEMBER...in an RV....in the mountains....staying in RV parks for the first time ever by either party...dealing with camping in winter conditions.  We did not consider this at all when making our plans to be there for my Nov 30th big birthday! 

5. Forget the size factor on this gigantic vehicle!  RV details in general were completely foreign to us.  Neither of us had any idea how to work a generator or how to discern white water, gray water, black water (RV terms). We got a 5 min lesson from the rental guy….Let's see, do we turn on the lights first or start the generator, and what about how the water and the pump works for both toilets and sinks?  More than once we drained the battery by mistake... and had to start the motor to get the battery going so the generator could start so the heat and water and TV and DVD would work.  But once all were working we were in literal RV HEAVEN.  We had movies, iPods, extra speakers and all the accoutrements of a luxury vacation in a rolling hotel room. This RV truly had all the amenities of home - albeit on a small scale.  After a few days in our mobile hotel room, we found that we could actually live in Wal-Mart parking lots - for days if necessary!  We were eating Wal-Mart deli food and watching movies among the other shoppers in the parking lot.   Is it the 60’s again?  Oh dear.

6. Neither of us considered the challenges of size (the vehicle), the weather (dah, winter!), the terrain (dah, mountains) or culture (hello? RV park clientele...).  We also did not consider the challenges of sharing narrow fast-moving highway lanes with the big trucks during rainy, snowy, windy conditions….on our way to the Grand Canyon…

So the trip begins…unaware of what lies before us but full of hope, expectation and excitement and the prospect of hitting the open road in the Great American Southwest!

We certainly did not expect a "Griswold" experience but found it was getting more "Griswold" every day into the adventure!

HEY, I live in Boca! ...where we manicure everything - twice daily....  And the concept of an RV adventure is met with "say WHAT"?   "Reeeally?"....   Needless to say, I have few locals endorsing this concept of "fun" and adventure!  After all, it’s not a yacht or a cruise, or a trip to an exotic island, or jetting to off to Paris or Tahiti, but it’s my birthday, my way. Shared with a great friend who has a wonderful sense of adventure and was kind enough to indulge me on this wild excursion!

Vacuum Cleaner Chronicles....

Well, I never thought I'd get such a THRILL out of a new vacuum !! My old one basically fell apart - plastic parts turned back into oily sticky ick and were rubbing off like tacky oil paint onto my hands! I needed to use Goo Gone to remove the vacuum cleaner tar from my hands!!! It is now sitting on the street waiting for the morning trash! Goodbye little broken Kenmore....(purchased 22 yrs ago when I first moved from MN to Miami).

It is 2am and I just finished vacuuming the 5 area rugs I own with my new cheap vacuum. (My house is 100% tile ...so I'm really good with a mop and as my family will attest, I do have my favorites in the mop department too!)

But the vacuum....Wow....This new little $70 Shark grabbed so much dirt from those rugs .....eooowww ... it was truly icky stuff! So I guess the Kenmore must have lost its umphhh a while ago (un-noticed) since this little hepa number from KMart really filled up a canister with major dust and dirt. I guess for $70 bucks, one doesn't really need that $1400 Kirby or other specialty vacuum - unless of course, you wish to make the job of vacuuming into a career! What could we possibly have SEEN regarding the importance of vacuuming to spend $1400 on a Kirby back in the day???? I was really surprised what $70 bucks could accomplish!
Now that it is past 2am and the house feels really "clean".... I will bid you all adieu.

BTW - Suction of this magnitude has not seen the light of day here in many years!!

- "Cheap Thrills" in Florida.....

"The Mistress of Doom & Gloom" & "Our Lady of Perpetual Crisis"

I dedicate this blog today to my dear friend, Joanne Darvin.

I just found out Joanne Darvin, my good friend from Miami - whom I have called "The Mistress of Doom and Gloom" and "Our Lady of Perpetual Crisis"..... died a year ago! I'm stunned. How could this happen?? I just called her house to say hi since I had not spoken to her in a couple years. Her husband answered and told me the sad news. She fought and won her battle against cancer but succumbed to an embolism. Go figure. She died suddenly, and quietly.

Joanne was such a vital spirit and truly a wild woman in so many ways. Although I gave her these titles that some may think derogatory, it was only because she represented such crazy charm and an incredible non-stop penchant for crisis and drama that caused her to earn every bit of these fondly assigned titles. I never knew a drama queen, nor any Jewish female from NYC until I met her! Drama was her middle name to be sure. However, on the other side she was one of the most gracious, kind, and entertaining human beings I ever had the pleasure to know!

She was hysterical to listen to and....full of so many episodes of drama and crisis...that I dubbed her The Mistress of Doom & Gloom ..AND... Our Lady of Perpetual Crisis a long time ago. Her manner and her dialog in relating the latest events that happened to her were so amplified I could not help but assign her 2 titles! All in fun. And she could talk and talk and talk..... I often fell asleep on the phone with her.. Once she got going, she rarely came up for air and was perfectly content to just keep talking and talking - so I don't think she noticed the frequent snoring on the other end of the phone.

My very first trip outside the building in Aventura with my new friend in her first car (ahhhh...a NYC native..) was to go to a pawn shop to pick up - and re-purchase - goods stolen from her by a friend of a relative. Get that? Ok so that's how the story of my friendship with Joanne began. A crisis. Doom and Gloom if we didn't get the goods back right now! And perhaps someone would get shot. I think there was a gun involved as well...but do not recall all the details. What a start.

When I met her, Joanne was a mid-30's gal with her first car.... That in itself was so foreign to this midwestern native whose cultural background calls for driving a stick-shift at 15 and getting your own car - beater or otherwise - as soon as possible. I did not understand what "calling for a car" or "having a car service" meant until much later in my friendship with Joanne. I just let it go since every question would elicit a 45 minute explanation, annotated and filled with digressions... I learned early on to ask few questions and just sit back and listen and enjoy the ride!

Anyway, we retrieved the goods which then morphed into a lawsuit, a restraining order and daily assistance from the on-site security to maintain vigilance against the perp. As time went by there were more and more incidents and events or non-events that escalated into just another crisis - or a situation that needed some form of resolution....as in asking the building management to sleep in her apartment living room every night for a week to authenticate late night noises in the building that were making it "impossible to sleep"... or to replace parts of her rented apartment - ...because of something "vile" or whatever... I got a daily call relating her latest escapades and issues... All with much flourish, laughter and entertainment value that you just could not buy anywhere! She was a master at crisis... and "oh dear...can you believe THIS happened?"....

In any case, I memorialize her here as one of my most endearing - yet dramatic - friends since my move from Minnesota to Florida in 1988. She told stories that would make us all laugh for weeks and weeks and weeks! Her background in high fashion - New York style - as a vital cog in the Valentino dynasty, gave her all that much more international flair that turned out to be beyond priceless. She knew fashion! And...she knew lots of other drama queens - who were actual queens. New York queens! I met a number of her past associates; they all provided so much charm, fodder and flair to life with Joanne.

We spent endless hours on the phone, going to the pool and just talking about our mutually exclusive background and experiences. Being from the midwest, I had no idea what she was talking about when describing her wardrobe... a blah blah blah dress, or a blah blah blah scarf or shoes or skirt. Her stories always began with..I was wearing my blah blah blah outfit.... which she ASSUMED meant something to me - which it didn't... God forbid if some date misinterpreted her expectations for the evening, she would indignantly assert "why would he THINK I would be interested in going to a baseball game? ..in my blah blah blah outfit??? This is a DINNER dress! I didn't wear my blah blah blah dress to go to a BALLgame!" I smile at her amplified indignance on these matters of monumental significance....

I'd just go along with her because I too did not know you could not wear a blah blah blah dress to a ballgame either! How boorish of both of us! In any case, she was so vastly entertaining in making these assertions! I just enjoyed the story and her animated flair for telling the tale...

Another noteworthy Joanne event was the high Jewish holidays - which I didn't know anything about at the time. She wanted to go shopping but did not want to be seen. So she dressed in a wig and scarf and we sneaked out of the building - by WALKING to her car! ..and somewhat pretending we were going to temple... Actually walking to the car was a notable event. She always valeted. She never carried anything from the front door to the apartment herself. She never parked her own car in her own spot in the garage. In fact her first trip to the garage was one day when I was driving; she asked me to pick her up at the front door. I told her I was not her car service and she would be walking to the car with me or she could stay home! She complained loudly that this was so awful to force her to go into the garage... "moi Joanne walking to the garage!"... Ultimately she was in awe that the garage - which was connected to the building, was not really that far away! Yah. We all knew that.

Anyway, in disguise on the highest of high Jewish holidays, we had great fun shopping and FILLED THE ENTIRE CAR AND TRUNK with stuff she purchased from home stores and such. Not wanting the wrath of the Jewish Gods to come down on her - or anyone in the building to recognize her WITH packages - we pulled our car full of purchases to the front door to the valet station and she literally RAN to the elevator and left me with the valet staff ...She asked me to "bring up her things.." She said she could not be seen shopping on this holy day! I'm sure we went to her apartment and ate some form of pork.... So much for the rules...

Man-hunting was another sport that provided much adventure, laughter and fun! It would too tedious to go on here, but suffice it to say, I will never, never forget her! I will never, never forget some of the gut splitting laughter from her stories. She was the best!

I am saddened by her death and I will miss her a lot. ;-(