I'm In Hot Dish Heaven !!!

Well, being a Minnesota native and having moved to Florida 20 years ago, I seldom get an opportunity - or the craving for - cold weather comfort foods.

Florida, like other states, has had a very cold winter so far. Yes, it is all relative I know, but being a MN native, it is clear to me that my notion of "cold" has been altered by 20 yrs of unbearably hot, humid weather most of the time. So, any time the temp dips below 68, it's COLD here!

That being said, I also I seldom cook these days and mostly don't make any kind of native Minnesota "hot dish" around here since the natives in FL would likely snub this peasant food as somewhat boorish and/or boring. Of course the weather in Southern Florida really doesn't warrant much cuisine in that department since it is really tropical most of the time..... So, it has been 25+ years since I made a fabulous mouth-watering dish called Alpine Casserole. However, being that we've had a bit of a cold run here since early Jan and I thought it timely to dust off some cold weather comfort food from a recipe box whose recipe cards are yellowed with age and neglect. Today I made a pan of Alpine Casserole - just for me! Pure unadulterated indulgence!!

I pulled it out of the oven around 3pm today...I was starving by then... I often get so involved in my work, I forget to eat until I'm ready to chew off my arm! I quickly gobbled down a plate of hot yummy stuff before a 3pm meeting and left the pan in the kitchen.

My business partners - both NY natives - showed up a few minutes later for the meeting. The smells of a home-cooked meal - rare in my household for many years - permeated the air. I knew one of my partners had not eaten either so I offered him a plate of fresh Minnesota "hot dish", fully expecting a polite nibble and a nod and that's all.

I am pleased to say, I personally had 3 big helpings and both of my partners had 3 helpings as well - even the one who just came from lunch! The whole pan is nearly gone and one of my partners even wanted to bring some home to his girlfriend. They were so "possessed" and drawn to the simple flavors of a standard Minnesota "hot dish" (aka casserole) they could not stop eating it or going back to the kitchen for just a little bit more!!

Little did I expect this to be such a HIT....after all these years !! I loved it but I must give thanks, recognition and appreciation to one of my dearest friends, Robin, from whom I got this recipe so very many years ago! She was a chef extraordinaire and this was one of her California accommodations to the Minnesota natives - after moving there - that is, learning to make an extraordinary "hot dish" you can't stop eating! Thanks Robinsky !!! Sadly, my friend Robin, succumbed to illness a few months ago. We all miss her terribly - but I truly learned so much from her so many years ago and this little dish just reminded me of what a graceful spirit she brought to everything she touched.

This one's for you, my dear Robin!

Ohhhhh.....I'm soooo WITH you right now....in hot dish heaven !! Can you see me? I have food all over my face.

Love to you. You made my day!

Eating Out with "Gary S." on Yelp

Feb 1, 2010
I sent this log of restaurant reviews by a local chap named "Gary S." as an email to my friends who would enjoy a few chuckles in January 2009. Update since then: The funniest review was a Boca Raton restaurant called Bova. Update is that this chic and busy spot was purchased by flambouyant Ponzi crook and lawyer, Scott Rothstein in the fall of 2009, just weeks before he left on a private jet for Morocco where he allegedly stashed millions of dollars from his $1.2B Ponzi scam. Again a good thing ("people-watching") gone awry.... by another scam sham here in So Florida !! - Little Bernie

So here is the original email. Sit back and enjoy. This is really funny stuff!!

Jan 3, 2009
I was on a site looking at restaurant reviews (I wrote one too since I was pissed off about a creep bartender at a local steakhouse). Anyway, I looked at Bova for reviews..... Bova is full of Cougars dressed like Brittany Spears, young gold diggers and lots of old guys that look like crap. Rich, ugly and assholes. Thursday is the night. The parking lot is filled with every hot and expensive car you can imagine. Anyway I see everyone's nicey nice comments and reviews about Boca restaurants and I decided to look what people wrote about Bova... and then this one guy - "Gary S." - tells it like it is. I laughed my butt off. Funny as sh@@! (He's from NY and reviews Boca, NY, Vegas, etc.). He reviews everything, including stores, pest control, etc. I laughed a lot! Enjoy.

***...as told by a very funny guy "Gary S." on Yelp.com....****


Bova Ristorante
Boca Raton, FL
6/10/2008

This place helped me understand suicide bombers!

In my 11 years of living in this circus town I have now been to the epicenter of hell. The desperation of the newly divorced women has reached biblical proportion here. The competition and evil competitors will stand outside to watch what kind of car a girl has. If that woman speaks to an eligible man (or married man who lies) the wicked outsider will come by and mock the girl to her face and try and shame her away.

I had 3 women ask me if I was married. I had 2 women ask me what kind of car I have, and I had 6 ask me what I did for a living. The women here do not have conversations, they give depositions.

I have seen very nice women I know pack them self into an old outfit that is a few sizes to small and definitely not age appropriate. I am not a prude but this place will make the most seasoned S. Floridian quiver. This place was a total rodeo for me and my friends. We tried to see how long we could stay until we felt like we needed a bath.

It is nice to see the Jack La Lane impersonators too. 60 plus year old guys with the same costume you would see on the guys from the red hot chili peppers. Fresh wrinkle free faces but they did not get the neck lift to go with the face lift. (Think male Joan Rivers with the Frank Perdue neck on a Lou Ferrigno like body. (This is what the local soccer moms fight over.)

The place is very nice and the bar is jammed. If you like this kind of scene you will love this place.

If you are a comedy writer you will love this place.

If you are a newly divorced soccer mom with your old acid washed jeans and Barbie Doll socks. You will love this place.

If you are an 80 year old male body builder who digs younger women who have low self esteem you will love this place.

If you are a radical suicide bomber you will love this place.

I see underneath it says Wheelchair accessible? That should be yes just so the men can keep going for the next few years. It also says Good for kids? I guess it is if you want your mom to marry an old guy to pay the bills and help keep up that country club lifestyle.


Poppies Restaurant & Delicatessen
Delray Beach, FL (next to Boca)
8/28/2008
Miserable crowd lousy service but decent food (breakfast) and cheap like borscht. Reminds me of that scene in the movie Cocoon. The old people there try and steal your youth and lust for life as they sit there silently staring at their spouse.

I guess after 50 years of marriage you pretty much said everything you had to say.

Avoid weekends at all costs. Go across the street to bagel Brothers to avoid weekend road blocks.


Lil'ole Caboose
Deerfield Beach, FL (next to Boca)
9/25/2008 First to Review
I can not believe I am the first one to Lil Ole' Caboose! This place is great for that White Castle fix that many of us transplanted NY'ers need. They also have Sabrett Hot Dogs with the authentic NY onions to go with them. The fries are old Nathans style waffle fries great for chili and cheese if you wish. (The chili tasted burnt)

I love the place and go when I need my sliders but the place is a true joint! See my photo of the exterior and you can see it looks like a train. Caboose to be specific but I can tell you that the cleaning people left the building in the early 90's. This place is a bit on the gross side and the filth levels are high. Do yourself a favor and use the drive thru window and keep the questionable hygiene out of mind.

My kids love it just make sure you use the restroom somewhere else before you arrive. I do like this place by I need to give you all full disclosure. That's how I roll!


Rachel's Steakhouse
PalmBeach, FL
8/28/2008
Yes it is a steakhouse in a strip bar. (As a married man I will not go any deeper into that, pun intended)

The Shrimp cocktail is the best I have ever had to this very day. The horseradish in the cocktail sauce will make you exhale regardless how much you had to drink. I also like the cheese mash immensely.

I like when you see the blue haired Palm Beach crowd, they are standing there waiting for their table when in plain site there is nudity galore.

REMEMBER NUDITY AND FOOD IN PUBLIC IS NOT A WINNING COMBO!

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM INVITING WORKING WOMEN FROM OVER THE WALL TO JOIN YOU FOR NUDE CONVERSATION, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE WITHOUT A HAIRNET.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

Woody's
Islamarada, FL
7/14/2008 First to Review
*** WARNING ***

Ignorant low life rednecks and crack whores make this an instant keys landmark.

Get a tetanus shot and penicillin shot before even pulling into the parking lot.

You can see a big fat jackass telling jokes that sound like a reading from the KKK handbook. His name is Big Dick and the extenders and he at least has the self given name of Big Dick.

That is the only redeeming quality I can find.

I only gave this 1 star because I had no other choice. If you want a firsthand look at the worst human element, this is a great place.

THIS PLACE SUCKS!

(Yes I know it is a nude bar, that is only secondary)


The Center For Plastic Surgery
Islamarada, FL
7/14/2008 First to Review
If you need plastic surgery, and go to someone in the keys you also need brain surgery!

I suggest the brain surgery first and at least drive up to Miami for the love of God and all that is holly.

The sign should say:

Plastic surgery / bait / bar and grill / and we fix flats too.

I have never been to the place above, and must add they might be the best in the world. Just sounds way too funny to pass on.

Town Pizza
Ocean Beach, NY
9/15/2008
Here is a very good secret I will share with you all.

Walk to the front of the line saying you are a cash customer. Before the crowd begins to spill your blood take a $50 and throw it in the tip cup. Tell the guys that the next 2 pies out of the oven are yours and they can keep the change for the kids.

That worked for me every Sat night for a summer. I then returned to my house where I was applauded and reimbursed for my squandered $50.

Do not forget to tell everyone on the line that you are a cash customer and snapping the fifty helps add to your mystery. Bring backup in case things changed over the last decade or so.

P.S. bring bail too because they will put you in jail for just about anything. Trust me I know. From others not myself.


Albatross
Ocean Beach, NY
9/15/2008
Swing the lights! you can get away with it once or twice before they throw you out. If you make out with someone for over 4 hours straight do not send them purple flowers the next few days. Trust me on this one.

I know that from a friend.

Paradise Pizza of the Keys
Key Largo, FL
9/12/2008
Never! I repeat Never! get pizza that is made on a Conveyor Belt!

When you see that the pizza is nothing more then a kit with pre measured bags of ingredients that is placed on a robotic belt that is fed into one side of a machine and out the other side you should leave.

I think the pizza is made from the same company that made the cooking machine / robot.

The only thing I agree with from the other post is that the pizza was hot. They should make it even hotter to completely damage your taste buds so you may come back some day.

Note to pizza owners in the Keys. "We are not all drunk all of the time"

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on Budwieser.

Upper Crust Pizza
Key Largo, FL
9/12/2008 First to Review
This place has odd tasting pizza. Not a good odd either. I was a fan but the pizza has been slowly getting worse in the last few years. It is like a slow downward spiral.

The good is the crust is firm but the sauce has become more nasty then an old jar of open tomato sauce in the back of your refrigerator that time has forgotten.

This was always a better choice then the "tower of pizza" just south untill now.

It is now a coin toss of what kind of lame pizza you will eat. The good news is that Paradise Pizza is not far away. The bad news is that they suck even worse.


Kilwin's
Delray Beach, FL
8/28/2008
How could chocolate suck? It can't!

My ass gets bigger just walking on this side of the street. If you want to get the Mrs. some Valentine treats go early! It is a zoo on V Day and something you really do not have to experience. Trust me on this one.

Captain Pell's Fairfax Crab House
Fairfax, VA
8/9/2008
Bring some wet naps! I watched my gross friend Sig eat so many craps, I was concerned about the species becoming endangered. He was covered in crab meat and his chin glistened with butter. He had a wooden hammer in one hand and was eating a crab like some would eat an apple.

The smell of old bay smacks you in the face as soon as you open the door.

I want to put a sign "Gluttony lives here" (Thats a good thing) This is a place to roll up your sleeves and get to some beer and crabs.

Bring your gross hungry friends and enjoy the show.

"They had no Crabby Pattys on the menue"


U-Haul Co
Gordonsville, VA
8/9/2008 First to Review
"WARNING, THIS PLACE SUCKS"

You would be better off dragging your items on your back then to rent a deathtrap from this place.

Terrible equipment and non caring staff make this a must avoid.

Wfkz Sun 103.1
Tavernier, FL (Fl Keys)
7/14/2008 First to Review
I am so over classic rock!

They played Cinnamon girl one weekend 6 times. I was going to kill someone there.

Get some new records and call me. I can now guess what F K Z in the call letters mean. lol.


Hog Heaven Sports Bar & Grill
Islamarada, FL
7/14/2008 First to Review
If you want to see people out passed 10:00 pm. They are here.

A true Dive bar complete with NASCAR styled car on the roof. If you have a group of people and just want to go out it is fine. Do not go by yourself or you are looking for trouble. The locals do not like the outsiders coming in and trying to buddy up to the locals. I have seen some bad fights here and never bring your girl with you or every boathand in the place will have something to say. Especially if she is attractive.

Go as a pack and I would say go only with the guys.


Dubliner Irish Pub
6/7/2008
Way to nice to be called a pub! Very good place to have a few pints, especially in the very trendy Foo Foo Mizner Park. If you brought a real Irishman here, he would be culture shocked into sobriety and probably never stop throwing up. It is a bit of an older crowd and can be jammed with people. It is a solid place, but just lacks true Irish Pub charm and stink.


Arturo's Ristorante
Boca Raton
5/27/2008
Sure it is fun to sing with the Piano man and Francis Ford Coppola (He really was there) but the smell when you walk in is foul. It is a cross between Bourbon Street @ midnight on Fat Tuesday, and the Palm Beach water treatment plant. If you can get over the smell, your next task is to get past the maitre d' aka hostess guy. If you are not wearing what he likes, you will be banished to a far away table or the back room. I do like the food, and the population looks like the waiting room for heaven or hell (if you believe in that kind of stuff).

The dishes that are made at the table are great! I am a huge fan of the pasta that is made with cognac and the veal chop parm. The food is good, but the smell and snob at the door is tough to overcome. The food is a solid 8 1/2 / 10.

Helen Keller would give high nines but asking my friends to keep it down when we were the only people in the whole place gets you some jack ass points, and has definitely cost them one star. (They were not even that bad)

That kind of stuff bothers the heck out of me. When it is a special night out, and there is someone who pisses you off that makes the night memorable for the wrong reason. Your experience should not be altered negatively by the people running the show. If your looking for great Italian there are better cheaper places that will make you feel welcome.

Thats how I feel. I am not a fan. New ownership comes in, I am there.


New York Prime
Boca Raton
5/24/2008
I do not know if I go for the steaks or the insanity? The food is always good and the service is great. They seem to be a little more humble during slow economy's then during boom times, but with that being said this place is like the circus. Where else can you see a 70 plus year old guy in a captains hat making out with a 20 year old at the bar? Yuck!

The Bar is a mad house and the same guy has been singing sweet Caroline since Neal Diamond wrote it. The breads that start you off can be a meal them self. I like the spicy cheesy bread (sliced and cracker like) The Mrs. likes the dark sugary one. That helps keep the fights away.

The drinks are poured on the stiff side (thats a good thing) and the police are out front to help the drunk senior citizens to their cars. I love the looks of the seafood appetizer sampler but am not much of a raw oyster / stone crab guy. They have huge lobsters that come with bankers to help you finance one if you want it. The steaks are great one of my favorites behind the king Peter Lugar's (Brooklyn not L.I.) and the Cheese Mash makes my cholesterol climb just thinking about it. Deserts are great if you have room and the Onion Rings are proper and large. Not for the cheap or easily offended. Great place to people watch and reservations are a necessity. So get your botox and your home equity loan and give it a try.

Sports Authority
9/15/2008 First to Review
Bad selection, bad service, bad checkout but good prices on football jerseys that no one wants. Unless you really want a John Beck jersey.

Papa John's Pizza
9/12/2008 First to Review
Do you really need a review of Pappa John's Pizza?

OK here it is. It Sucks!